Losing your sense of humor can happen in an instant. One must be on guard at all times, keeping it close by, lest it be lost. Lost can mean it has been accidentally trashed, or that it has wafted like a balloon to foreign shores. In any case, regardless of where it has relocated, certain procedures must be taken to retrieve it. First, scream. If this doesn't work, try screaming with a mouthful of ice cream. (If you don't use pistachio, it may take longer.)

Beyond these preliminary measures, there are a number of other paths to take, but these will be contingent upon your location and the status of the weather. That is, none of the following should be attempted either during a hurricane or while being personally reprimanded by the president during your visit to the oval office.

ONE: stand on your head while in the shower. Now sing the Star Spangled Banner, imitating Placido Domingo if you are a male, and Marie Antoinette if you are a female. After showering, simply retrieve your sense of humor from the shower drain.

TWO: (presuming no. one didn't work): dry yourself off and get dressed. Now take a small pocket mirror and press it against your nose and walk around with it there until chuckles begin emerging. When they do, catch them and keep them in your pockets, as they are the seeds of your sense of humor and may be planted as soon as the opportunity arises. Put down the mirror and go about your day. When that opportunity does arise, quickly dig into your pockets, pull out the chuckles, and spread them liberally on your face and the faces of those nearby. Usually this works, but steer clear of lawyers and anyone operating heavy machinery. If you encounter a lawyer operating heavy machinery, just pretend you don't notice him and spread those chuckles over your entire body. Feeeeel them creating bubbly yummy sensations all over. Giggle and laugh, YES!, for there is your sense of humor emerging! (If the lawyer gets curious at all, fill him in on the tactic. Such behaviors work well in court, especially if the judge is superior.)

THREE: If the preceding methods yield no levity, the most drastic of the possible maneuvers may be employed. (Do not attempt this while operating heavy machinery.) Gather your belly button breath and blast it outward in short bursts, louder and louder until a hearty laugh pulses through. If it does not happen immediately, try and try again, even faking it! Sooner or later the sense of humor you have been missing will come through, but watch out!, because it will have to come out one of your orifices, and there's no guarantee which one it will be. Choose your time and place carefully, therefore, and be quick to catch it when it pops.

Once you have regained it, your humor I.Q. will be fortified and more easily shared. Always keep it with you, and nurture it daily. There's a lot going on in the whirled, and you just may be able to save a situation if you apply it with perfect timing.

©2003, Pamela La Regina