TOMAY-TO: TOMAH-TO
PET PEAVES: COMMON COURTESIES

I found myself at local bookstore one recent Sunday morning. It was 11 a.m. and the place was bustling. The parking lot was packed, the coffee corner was abuzz with conversation, and hundreds of people perused the aisles.

I waited 10 minutes at the Customer Service desk for the answer to a simple question. When help finally arrived, my query was interrupted by the sudden ringing of the telephones--the one on the desk next to the computer, the one conveniently tied on a cord around the woman's neck, and the one piped in over the music on the intercom.

"I'm looking for a book..."
Beeeeep.
"...called Painted Houses..."
Beeeeep.
"...by Debbie Travis."
Beeeeep.

"Let me check," she mumbled, as Beeeeep. Beeeeep. Beeeeep.

"We don't have that in stock, but..."
Beeeeep.
"I can order it for you...""
Beeeeep.
"That's OK, but..."
Beeeeep.
"Thank you for your help."
Beeeeep.

I wandered off thinking of other books I might discover... Beeeeep...and could not get out of there any faster if I could fly!

As I made my way past the crowd of people in line, through the sardine-packed parking lot and home on the congested highway, I got to thinking...

Recently, the Population Reference Bureau reported that the world's population will increase nearly 50 percent by mid-century. That's 9.2 billion people milling about this little planet. Here in the U.S., we're expected to grow from 293 million to 420 million by 2050!

And we think it's bad now? Image twice as many cars on the road, twice as many people in the bookstore and twice as many cell phones ringing all about...Beeeeep.

If that proves to be true, then we have some work to do...because one person's Beeeeep is another person's road rage is another person's insanity, and as far as I can tell we're all leaning more and more toward INSANE RAGE than peaceful coexistence.

And that's coming from someone who is relatively calm and tolerant and patient.

In a recent Emily Post survey, 81% of the people surveyed felt people are more uncivil today than 20 years ago. With that in mind, I would like to offer some points of consideration for all of us...

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE HAVING FOR DINNER...or when you're picking up your friend, or what you're fighting about with your partner...and nobody else does either. If you have to have a conversation in the middle of the store on your cell phone, can you at least speak quietly? Better yet, take it outside, say what you have to say and come back to finish your shopping later--everything will still be here.

YANKEE DOODLE DANDY IS NOT MY FAVORITE SONG...and just because you think it's cute to have your cell phone play the entire tune for you every time it rings, that does not mean everyone else will appreciate it. A simple beep will let you know you have a call coming in, and it'll beep again if you miss the first one, just as a reminder.

IF ALL THE CARS ON THE ROAD IN FRONT OF YOU ARE TRAVELING AT 40 MILES AN HOUR, YOU CANNOT GO 60. It's a pretty simply fact that doesn't require a bit of math! So, don't bother getting closer to the car in front of you, flashing your lights, or driving partially in the breakdown lane as if to pass...it just won't work. Throw in your CD of Yankee Doodle Dandy and sing along, you're gonna be here for a while.

KIDS DON'T NEED LEASHES, THOSE ARE FOR DOGS. Kids need discipline, and parents who pay attention, and a couple of lessons in how not to behave in public: no yelling, no running, be polite, no swearing. Then again, grown-ups could probably use the same lessons...

THIRTY YEARS AGO, YOU WOULD HAVE HAD YOUR MOUTH WASHED OUT WITH SOAP. What happened to all of those things we were told not to do when we were kids? They still apply...it seems we all just forgot. Spitting is illegal. Don't swear in public. Say "Please" and "Thank You." Screaming and whining will not get you what you want. Don't push. Say "excuse me."

Behave yourself.

- - - - -

Man is subject to innumerable pains and sorrows by the very condition of humanity, and yet, as if nature had not sown evils enough in life, we are continually adding grief to grief and aggravating the common calamity by our cruel treatment of one another.

-Joseph Addison

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